I do think of you, I do imagine from time to time, what we would be doing now if things haven’t changed this drastically for the last few months, I do regret everything that I’ve done that have caused you to become emotionless or someone that I didn’t recognize anymore because it did hurt seeing someone I love say that she couldn’t love me anymore because she didn’t know how to.
Aside from the sad memories, I’ve kept and locked the happy ones inside too because genuinely, I do smile and crack up when I think about it. When you washed my hair for me, when you gave me the stuffed Giraffe toy (it’s still on my bed) and that chain you got from couple lab with my name on it. Such small efforts yet, it’s definitely something that I’d keep in mind, when I think about you. You think that I’ve moved on and so I’m already gone, but that’s not true. I’m far from moved on. I want you to know how much I wish I could still hold you when I need you; how I could still kiss you goodbye when you send me off and leave smiling like I haven’t had for 100s of days. You were a first to me, first for everything. I know you said that I’d be your last; I honestly wished it was true and it really makes me feel so damn honoured because no one has ever made me feel that special. I do hope that you’ll be happy again; even though I know that person will never be me. Please stay safe and take care, because I’m no longer in a position to nag at you and scold you when you’re being childish. I’ll always be here for you, in any forms. Don’t ever push me away. I still love you, but I can’t force someone who doesn’t to stay. Take care small, ill miss you.